Sometimes it just hits me: Lyme is going to be a part of the rest of my life. It will always be there; looming in the background (or foreground depending on the cycle) and weighing in on every decision that I make.
I know that everyone has their background that they have to overcome but sometimes it seems like mine is literally right in my face every second of every day. It is daunting and heartbreaking.
I want to believe that once I’m ‘better’ that I can do anything that I want to do. However, my reality doesn’t work that way. Lyme will always have a say in what I do because it is a part of me. Some people say ‘you are not your illness’ but that is not completely accurate. It is a part of me and will always be part of my story. Lyme has changed my life, it has changed me to the core.
I am not saying that Lyme is an excuse or that it is the biggest thing that influences decisions but I think that it is important to not overlook the ripple effect of one spider bite almost 7 years ago.