“Mindfulness is simply
being aware of what is happening right now
without wishing it were different;
enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes
(which it will);
being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way
(which it won’t).”
– James Baraz
I can easily get caught up in worry and anxiety about the past, the present, the future, and every little detail in between. Believe me, if there is something to worry about, I’m worrying about it.
I get anxious about my past and how I acted and who I talked to. Did I make the right decision to buy that one random shirt? Did I say too much or not enough the last time I saw this a person that I haven’t heard from in years? Did I act like I was appreciative of the birthday gift that wasn’t exactly my favorite 5 years ago? I get so frustrated with myself because I know that these are silly things to worry about. They are in the past which means they are over and done with.
Then there is the future; and I mean the future future. Like way far out there that it is ridiculous to have it planned out in detail. I don’t want to grow old and grumpy by myself. Should I go back to school? What if nothing even happens and I stay like I am right now forever? Ugh, there is no way to know the future.
Finally, there is the present. Not like this exact moment but rather this day or this week. I worry that I don’t do enough. That I am not kind enough. That pains will last forever. That I won’t get another good night of sleep until the day I die (but then I guess I won’t really care).
But what about this moment? What about the here and now? If I could just live in this moment, it would erase the need to worry about the past or the future. I need to learn how to enjoy the pleasant moments and sit with the uncomfortable moments.